Enter the playhouse

Peanut's playhouse...Where we try to fulfill every wish and laugh at the ones that we can't.
Van is not responsible for lost or stolen items. Enter at your own risk. Product may have come in contact with peanuts. Not to be used in conjunction with alcohol, power tools, or Tupperware. Any resemblance with characters living or dead is highly coincidental. No animals were hurt or damaged in the making of this web page. All rights reserved. Do not swim for at least an hour after eating. Joining the circus after your eighteenth birthday is not the wisest decision you can make but you might regret it later if you don't. Call your mother once a day, start harassing her for a change. Remember to watch your cartoons regularly. Inbreeding is like putting 2 Disney theme parks in California. Most people who daydream about transforming themselves into some vicious beast, and going about tearing people's throats out, dismembering them, disfiguring them, and perhaps devouring them tend to mainly concentrate on how much fun it would be and generally neglect the practicalities of the situation. Don't read books recommended by people who make more money than you do, their sense of reality is too warped to trust their judgment. You shouldn't sit so close to the computer screen, it will hurt your eyes. Sometimes eat your dessert first. Be able to take a joke, be careful about how you give them. *Don't listen to that junk they give you in school. Light candles. Don't leave packages unopened, just do it for me, I can't stand to see stuff unopened. *That which we cannot explain we make up. Spend a Sunday reading a book from beginning to end. Not everything in your home has to match, get over it. Don't take work too seriously, it is only a game and you choose what rules you play by. Don't take life too seriously, you won't make it out alive. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. *I'm not cheating, I just want to know your opinion. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat, though. A critic is a man who knows the way, but can't drive the car. Don't be a critic. A modest man is usually admired; if people ever hear of him. A nuclear war can ruin your whole day. Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy. *Violence is not the answer, unless the question is: What is not the answer? AI programmers only think they do it. All extremists should be taken out and shot. All true wisdom is found on T-shirts. An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it. An optimist is someone who thinks the future is uncertain. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare. Before Xerox, five carbons were the maximum extension of anybody's ego. Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it. Beware of low-flying butterflies. Black holes suck! *Walk through the valley of the shadow of death; Fear no evil, just imagine it in it's underwear. Buy Land Now. It's Not Being Made Any More. Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Dachshunds are really small crocodiles with fur. Did you know that SATAN is an anagram for SANTA? *Every movie should end in nuclear annihilation. Drive defensively. Buy a tank. Stop for pedestrians, think of them as one less tailgater. Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal. f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng. For THIS I bought a computer? God doesn't play dice. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Everybody was a baby once. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once! Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope! And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception! Mmm, I'm getting hungry. *The only just war is with nerf bats and whiffle balls. Like all great romantics, Shakespeare realized love was a lot more likely to end with a bunch of dead Danish people than with a kiss.
May god stand between you and harm, In all of the empty places you must walk.