Time for a Life Reboot...this just ain't working!

It has officially been two years since I have posted anything and I'm sure that not a single person has been following me anymore anyway so I'm just going to go back to the basics and write for me. Hopefully I will write some things that some friends will find interesting and may wish to comment but the whole point of this blog was to keep things light hearted and I'm going back to that.

It has been a rough couple of years interspersed with the most amazing love filled three months of my entire life followed by the worst I could possibly feel the past couple weeks where everything came out of the blue still with no reason and affecting several different areas of my life but oh well, that's what happens. In order to at least deal because I have decided it is i my best interest to not move on. It is in my best interest to continue being the best me that I am which is the guy right here, I am going to deal by posting pathetically fun, occasionally witty and sometimes lewd posts that are just meant to be in jest and not pointed at anyone because once again the whole point of Who's Feelin' Nutty many many years ago was to just have fun. Let's do this...

At least once a week there will be a new post of fun observations of this place we call life along with a brief update of what I'm up to but only upbeat. If you want to know the full stories then you need to take me out for a coffee, a dinner, a show, romance me a little, yeah just like that.

Plus we never found out why the Keebler Elves and the Gnomes have such a longstanding hate for each other. Ooh ooh I know.

The issues of updating

The times that I feel the most lethargic and want to inform people of what's going on the least are generally the times that I should update the most. I really don't feel like writing anything right now which probably means that now is when I have the most to say. I spend a great deal of my energy being positive and upbeat even as things keep spiralling downward as I have been in worse places and have learned that there is no point in getting upset at what you can't do anything about. I can however make a positive impact on the life of others so I focus on that.

I have not led a spoiled life and through the past little while I have come to realize that others, who don't act on the surface as spoiled, actually are very much so. I'm not saying that to be mean. It wasn't until my ex gave our money to her family and then left me with the bills did I realize what it was like to literally not have anything, including a roof over my head and having to beg coworkers to share some of their medication in order to get insulin to stay alive did I see that even though we didn't have much money before, we were spoiled. We didn't save. We went out whenever we wanted and we enjoyed our lifestyle even as meager as it was. I understand that when a person works hard they feel that they should be able to spend their money the way that they want. I get that, I really do. When it's life that throws the curve ball and not somebody screwing you over sometimes changes need to be made. I'm somebody that in the past when I needed extra money I just worked extra hours. They were always available and I had three jobs on the go so making money was not an issue. For the past year or so it has been an issue as I haven't been able to make up the difference due to my illnesses and my transplants. Oh I got my kidney and pancreas transplants by the way. I just assumed that if you know me you would know that part by now. They are still healing but I am getting there.

There has also been a great deal of negativity being thrown around lately; more-so than usual even and mostly by the ones that insist that only they care. At least that's what they like the public to know. I'm not sick of them as generally they are sweet people but I am more than sick of the blame, the guilt and the insults that have been thrown our way by these people. They don't get it. I don't think they even try to get it. They have never been in our shoes. I now know many people that have been there and a few that are trying to prepare to be there in the future. It is quite difficult to go from a two income family to a less than one income due to one person being sick and the person needing to take time away from work to take care of them and then add medical bills on top of that and you not knowing when you can start trying to make plans again as you don't know when it will get better. I have started looking for work even though I have not been cleared medically to start looking for work because we need the income. It is hard to look for work when you are still dealing with a major surgery and can't stand for long periods of time or barely wear regular pants due to the incision wound. I also can't look for anything full time as it will cost me the health coverage that I do have which saves me close to $5000 a month. My options are pretty slim...but I try and I'll keep trying until it gets easier and until I am able to stand for long periods of time and able to wear regular pants and able to find a fulltime job that has medical coverage. Why? Because otherwise the person that died for me to live died for no reason and for those that think we're stupid, make all the wrong choices and that this whole situation is my fault, well unlike you I am better than you so I hope you never have to find out what I go through everyday of my life.
So goodnight as I have to go and sell some more things that I appreciate that we bought when we were both working and had the money, in order to help keep us afloat until I can work again.

I know this note was supposed to be more positive but trust me it could've been much much more negative. Good night.

Been A Long Time Coming

So I know it's been forever. Yes I'm a slacker. I was also blocked out of my own account thanks to Google buying Blogspot and only allowing me to log in with my Google account which wasn't connected to my blog. I'm sure many others have had this same issue over the past two years. Ah well, that's taken care of now.

Some updates with me over the past couple of years even though I'm sure I'm only writing this for myself at this point are:
I can officially call myself a published author as I have won the Canadian Poet's Society's short story contest.
I also, as of September 14th, will have completed all of my testing and assessments for kidney and pancreas transplants as I have been a type 1 diabetic all of my life and have renal failure due to the diabetes. After that it will just be waiting.
I am still married to Terri Lynn and we still have 2 adorable cats and one annoying one. I can't tell you who the annoying one is because they take turns but at least they all take turns being adorable as well.
I am on a good deal of medications for all of my illnesses and they do not help but they aren't supposed to help. They are to help maintain the abilities that I have for as long as possible so that I do not die before a transplant is available.

To leave on a positive note I have many friends that are not just users but enjoy spending time with me and vice-versa and I hope to be able to enjoy these friendships for many years to come.

Enough with that...regular (more uplifting) blogs soon to follow.

The Olympic Ceremonies

The 2010 Vancouver Olympics finished last night and Terri and I watched almost every waking moment of them over the previous two weeks. There were some incredible stories and events that unfolded which unfortunately will be overlooked because the last sporting moment of the games will be remembered as the defining moment; the Crosby goal. As a proud Canadian I am not going to say anything negative about that moment. It was ecstatic to see knowing that I was breathing a sigh of relief at the same moment as most Canadians.

The major issue that I found with these Olympics is how poor the opening and closing ceremonies represented Canada, especially eastern Canada. The only people that were used in either ceremony to represent us here east of Quebec were Ashley MacIsaac who has not been a positive image in man years and was used to represent a goth plaid sect of somewhere that I have never seen and Misha Gossman who was not used to represent anything except hairspray. I'm sure that someone thought the closing ceremonies were hilarious as they showed what Canada was really all about. The sad fact is that there will be people out there that think we are proud to be known by these pathetic stereotypes. You want stereotypes that we are proud of, how about the fact that our country is self sustaining, economically solvent, inviting to immigrants, social conscience in that we take care of our health needs, lower income needs, senior and student needs and proud of rich environment. Our cities (despite what the closing Olympics ceremonies would have you believe we DO have cities) are vibrant with multiculturalism, engaging technology and welcoming local flavour. I can understand if they did not have any east coast options for musical guests that would truly show our spirit however I know of a few that were there during the Olympics such as Great Big Sea to represent Newfoundland, The Trews representing Nova Scotia or Matt Andersen representing New Brunswick.

Overall check out Canada. You may see a moose, there's a slight chance that you may see a beaver or maybe a Mountie but you will definitely see something that you don't expect; especially if you are basing your interpretation of Canada's tourism industry on the Vancouver Olympics.

Just sayin' ...now I owe a loonie to the jar.

Thanksgiving

Since this will probably be my last update before the Thanksgiving weekend and since there are a lot of people that have been there for me in the past few adventurous years, I would like to make my thank you's public. I will try to let you all know individually as well (try).

Thank you to...
Amanda - for caring about the real me
Amy - for not judging me, oh and for the turtles
Barry & Karen - for welcoming me into your home, your lives and your hearts
Bill, Lee, Alannah, Vanessa & Sabrina - for showing me that time and distance doesn't separate families
Bonnie - for being supportive and Terri's rock to lean on
Brent - for reminding me to just be me and enjoy it
Chris - for the hugs when I most needed them
Christina - for the continued help and support
Claire - for being messed up, knowing it and knowing it's okay to enjoy it
Claire (different Claire)& Tom - for giving me the opportunity and for sharing your lives with us
Colin & Marilyn - for pleasantly surprising everyone, especially your daughters for welcoming me into your lives with open arms
Crystal - for keeping Scrat and myself grounded and for helping to give us wings (roots and wings)
Dad - for all my life's lessons and for letting me know that as long as no one gets hurt and I learn from it then nothing is a mistake
David - for reminding me that I can always be more and that's it's okay to be where I am at the time...Ooh toast
Doug - for being the insanity that dwells inside us all. When you let people in you are better than reality - you are Doug and that's a good thing
James - for being just like your musical tastes - one of a kind - and for constantly picking me up and not shaking your head "too" much
Jenn - for your support, kind thoughts and patience with two stubborn people
Jesse - for giving me the freedom to find myself again and then to keep checking on me so that I don't get lost again...and of course for Risk
Jessica - for the heart to hearts and for helping to guide me through some "interesting" times
Judy, Darrell & Matthew - for putting up with Terri and then having to deal with me on a day to day basis and yet taking all these life changes in stride
Kay-Jo - for constantly looking out for us and always knowing when we need a smile
Leslie - for the hope and the heart. I couldn't have gotten here without you
Lisa - for your continuous good wishes. It is appreciated
Lise - for the late night talks, the smiles and the many laughs when I was finding it hard to laugh
Mare - for including me in the conversations when I felt I was out of place getting to know the group. You are the one that made me feel at ease
Marie-Eve - for the vent sessions, the reality checks and the ear when I just had to sing
Marsha - for not only not taking advantage of me but also for taking care of me before yourself. I did notice that you go that extra step
Matthew & Tammy - for not forgetting that there was a me before and after the we dissolved
Melissa - for the blatant honesty and friendship that Terri needs and for welcoming a stranger like me into your life
Mike - for being so afraid for me that you made me get out of my "comfort zone"
Paul - for adding the rhythm to my words and my life
Sean - for knowing that I was just too afraid to let the world hear me
Sherry - for giving me the confidence to begin my new life and follow my dreams
Stew - for the supportive thoughts and not shying me away even though we are still new to each other
Terri - Wow, where to begin. All I can truly say is that after everyone else has helped me to get to where I am, where I want to be is right here...with you. You make it all worthwhile. I love all that you encompass
Toby - for letting me know it is more important to love myself than it is to be loved
Tracy - for making me constantly not rush ahead on anything. You made me think and thus allowed me to be sure that this time it's all right
Tyler - Ah Scrat, for being the one that's been there from the beginning and stuck threw all the way. I love you bruddha, Fong
Wayne & Cathy - for being so sure of yourselves and of your unity that Terri and I know that it's truly possible.

You are all amazing people and I am grateful that you have been a part of my life in at least some way over the past little while...here's hoping that your dreams are big and that you all have shoulders to climb on to help you reach them because once you get there it's so much more fun to share. Peace and love
-Van

Wonderful day

Oh Friday, how glorious of a friend you are. You come into our lives when we are needing you. You shine your joy unto the world and let us know that it's okay to have some fun. Sometimes, just sometimes (I don't want to push it) you let us enjoy the whole day off work. Oh I love you Friday...reminds me of a friend that was cool enough to share her birthday with you oh Friday except that if she tells me to take off work on Friday I tend to get fired. Happy birthday Liz. You're better than Friday. You're a friend everyday. Thanks for the smiles.

Misquote

Sometimes I switch channels on tv wayyy too fast. This is what I ended up hearing and had me in stitches. "Dad, what does badunkadunk mean?" "The houses, the village."